The Field Part 2
by bluerobin1954
Summary: A one shot. Esme has trouble letting go of Carlisle, will revisiting her past help her move on? If you enjoy this search The Field.


The Field part 2

I don't dream anymore, at least not pleasant ones. Not since Carlisle died, sure I moved through the motions of life smiled when I was supposed to smile, but how was I supposed to truly smile when my smile was taken away? But here I was, dreaming, I knew I was dreaming because everything was bright happy soothing. I was sitting on the ground, surrounded by daiseys as far as the eye could see. There was a tree, a large tree alone and hills. Plush hills, not high but rolling all around and the sun was shining. I put my hand above my eyes to shield them from the light to look around. I saw something on the ground ahead of me, I walked to it, a photo album. I picked it up and opened it. Inside were pictures of my children, Rose Alice and Edward. I laughed as I flipped through they were such characters. I remembered bringing Rose home from the hospital, she was so small I was terrified, what if I did something wrong? Carlisle didn't see it that way, he told me I was going to make a wonderful mother, it was in my character. Little Alice, she was so small but as she grew up she lived up to the phrase big things come in small packages. Then Edward, my baby. He was difficult at first he had collic that lasted two months. I remembered the nights when I didn't think I would be able to hold him any longer Carlisle would walk in just at the right time and hold him. It didn't matter if he'd just gotten home from a 3 day stretch at the hospital, he would say 'Go rest, I've got him'. If I would try and argue about him needing his rest he would look at me with those deep eyes, kiss me and tell me that his family was more important to him than anything in the world and send me on my way. God I miss him. No, this is a good dream Esme, don't think about it. I wiped away a single tear that had fallen and set the album down. I looked farther, I saw a veil, confused I walked over to it. It was the veil from our wedding. I smiled and sat down holding it. We were married just after winter I rememberd the proposed. He walked me up to my door to say goodnight and got down on one knee. I thought I would faint right there, he pulled a ring out of his pocket and said "Merry me."

I laughed. "Are you serious?"

He stood up, "You love me don't you?"

"Of course. Very much." I replied.

"Then why wait. I want you as my wife I want to start my life with you Esme Ann Platt. Say you will. Say you'll marry me." He pleaded.

I was so excited I practically shouted, "Yes."

He lifted me up and hugged me, "I Love you so much." The next week we had all of our friends and families at the courthouse and I walked in, in the gown my mother perchased for me. I was so happy, he was wonderful. Marrying him had been the best decision of my life, he was my best friend. Was. No, don't linger on that. I sat the veil down, stood up and walked some more. I ran my hands over the daiseys as I walked, a soft wind blew my hair. I noticed ahead of me was a white board, I walked up to it. In large letters it said CANCER. I looked around, why. Why in this dream, I don't want to look at this, I started walking past the board. Good, put it behind you, I got a couple steps then I heard paper wrestling. I turned around, on the back of the board there was a piece of paper taped to it, flapping in the wind. I went back and pulled it off, it was blank, I turned it over and saw the writing. I almost dropped it, it was the note I found on my pillow the night Carlisle died, i'd searched everywhere for it. No one believed I'd found it, they said I was grieving and it would pass. I was thrust right back to the night. I was making supper, the kids were in the livingroom and the phone rang. Edward answered it, "Mom, phone."

I picked up the receiver in the kitchen, "I got it, hang it up Edward. Hello?"

"Hi Esme, it's Dr. Hackett." My heart dropped. Why would he be calling this late.

"Hi Dr. Hackett. Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I'm sorry to do this over the phone but I knew you wanted to know as soon as possible. The biopsy came back. It's melignant." He said. I just stood there. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. "Esme, are you there?"

"Yes." was all i could say.

"I'm so sorry. We're going to need to start treatment soon." He replied.

"Of course. Thank..uh..thank you for calling doctor." I said then hung up. Oh my God. Cancer. I had cancer. I heard Alice yell something to Rose, my kids. What about my kids. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do. I looked around, Carlisle. I needed Carlisle. I picked up the phone and dialed the hospital. The nurse paged him and a minute later he answered.

"Hey honey, I was just getting ready to finish up, what's going on?" He asked.

"Carlisle. I need you to come home. Right away." Was all I could say.

"Is everything alright?" He asked sounding concerend.

"We'll talk when you get home." I said.

"Alright, I love you." He said. I hung up. Ok Esme, I thought to myself get it together, Carlisle will be here soon. Get busy, what were you doing? Oh yes, dinner, finish dinner.

Dinner came and went, and Carlisle wasn't home. I tried his cell a few times, but it went straight to voicemail. I got the kids ready and put them in to bed, I paced the livingroom. Where could he be? I was about to try his cell again when the doorbell rang. I answered it, policemen. "Can I help you?" I asked.

"Yes are you Mrs. Carlisle Cullen?" The taller of the two men asked.

"Yes." I responded.

"I regret to infrom you, but your husband has been in an accident." he said.

"Oh no, is he alright? Where is he? Which hospital." I said reaching for the phone beside me, I needed to call someone to watch the children.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but he didn't make it." the shorter man said. I stopped dialing and looked up.

"What did you say?" I said. Of course i'd heard that wrong, Carlisle was fine.

"A truck ran a red light and hit the side of your husbands car, there was a fire and he didn't make it out in time." The tall man expained. My knees buckled under me, "Oh my God." I cried. The men tried to help me up, I pushed them away. "Please leave, just leave." I cried crawling backwards and shutting the door. I dont know how long I sat there crying and thinking. What would I do, I dont know how to live without him. I called my sister Jessica to come over. She sat with me for hours, holding me while I cried, crying with me. She sent me to bed sometime in the night, I crawled into bed and looked at Carlisles side. I pulled his pillow to me, underneath was a paper, I picked it up.

_Dear Esme,_

_Leaving you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I want you to know no matter what happens in life that I love you more than life itself._

_Please don't blame yourself. Take care of our kids for me, they're going to need you more than ever. I'll be with you forever._

_ Love,_

_ Carlisle_

I sat up, stunned. It couldn't be, how did he. Were they wrong? Was he okay, was he alive? I ran down the stairs to show the letter to Jess, but when I got there the paper was blank. I couldn't understand. Jess tried to tell me it was normal, that I was in shock asked if I needed a doctor. Yes, yes I did, I needed my Carlisle, but I couldn't have him ever again.

"Stop it." I said throwing the paper down. "It wasn't real. This isn't real. I need to wake up, I can't take anymore." I looked around, trying to find a way out. I turned toward the tree. There was someone there, leaning against it. "Hello!" I yelled waving. He waved back. I started over to him, maybe he could help me get out of here. I got closer, I could see his blonde hair, gray slacks, light blue dress shirt sleeves rolled up. I stopped Carlisle. "No, please I can't dream about you anymore. Please, I can't handle waking up alone without you there." I put my face in my hands for a moment then looked up. He was infront of me. He looked exactly the way he did the day he...

"Hello Esme." He said.

"Carlisle. Please. Let me wake up." I said. He reached for my arms. I could feel it, more real than any dream I'd ever had.

"I can't honey. Can you tell me what you were doing before you went to sleep?" He asked softly. I closed my eyes. "I'd been having radiation. The cancer was back, the kids were waiting in the waiting room. Rose and Emmett, Alice and Jasper and Edward and Bella. The doctor said it was a risky procedure so they all insisted on coming. The cancer, it had spread to my brain. I needed to be sedated today. That is all. Then I woke up here." I looked around. "Carlisle. Where am I?"

"You're here, with me." He said pulling me closer.

"Am I dead." I asked. He nodded. I looked around. It all started to make sense. "So, you're here?" I asked

"Yes, I'm here." he replied. I touched his face and started to cry. "Don't cry love. Everything will be alright."

"I know that, that's not why I'm crying." I replied

"Then why?" He said wiping away a tear.

"I've wished for this since the day..." I couldn't finish. He pulled me into a kiss, every ounce of sadness washed away, this is where I wanted to be, here, with my Carlisle.

The End


End file.
